Sounds
by Spiderlass
Summary: Hater really wasn't expecting this to happen when he got stuck on a planet with Wander…


**A/N: WARNING! HERE THERE BE PORN. There, I warned you.**

In Hater's opinion, this whole damn day could go fuck itself.

He'd been separated from his men because of a stupid miscalculation (which led to a crash), chased by giant boar-things, nearly eaten by a _gob-damned plant_, and to top it all off…

"Come on, Hater, it's not much farther now!"

He was with Wander.

Wander, who'd somehow gotten separated from his Zbornak friend when they'd had to stop here.

There was a simple solution to the Wander problem, of course: Blast Wander to bits.

But of course, Hater couldn't do that for one very good reason: He had no clue where he was going, and, for some unfathomable reason, Wander walked around this glorn-forsaken hell hole of a planet like he owned the place.

So, for now, he just had to bear with it, just so he could get off this miserable rock. That was the only reason why he was putting up with Wander.

Really. There was _no_ other reason.

Certainly not because Wander had pretty blue eyes and the cutest laugh that Hater had ever heard.

Or because whenever Wander smiled, Hater got this weird feeling where his gut used to be (you know, back before he was a magic skeleton), and his face sort of heated up and-

Okay, fine. So Hater might have had a _teeny-tiny _little crush on the Star Nomad. It didn't mean anything! It wasn't like Hater would ever act on his feelings!

It was just a dumb little crush. It would pass eventually… right?

Right?

"Hater?"

The skeleton nearly jumped a foot in the air as Wander's voice dragged him out of his thoughts, bringing him back into reality. "Wh… What?" He asked, trying to sound angry.

Wander smiled at him brightly, and Hater felt the odd sensation in his stomach again. "It's gettin' kinda late, so how's about we set up camp here and rest for the night?"

"Oh, um, sure- I-I mean, well, _finally_!" Hater replied in a snotty tone, sitting down. "I thought you'd never stop! Geez, my feet hurt…"

Wander never stopped smiling. "Well, I'm sorry that we didn't stop sooner. I just remembered that this spot is the farthest away from the hunting grounds of the nocturnal beasts, so we'd have more of a chance of surviving the night." He chuckled, sitting down and removing his hat. He rooted around a bit before pulling a big red blanket out, which he tossed over to Hater. "Here ya go! Wouldn't want you to get cold during the night."

Hater flushed, looking away. "Er… thanks. Why… Why do you have this, anyway? Can't you fit in your hat?"

"Yeah, but Sylvia can't. She gets cold sometimes, you know." Wander frowned suddenly. "I hope she's okay."

The skeleton didn't respond for a moment. "I… I'm sure she's fine." He said after a moment before lying down and covering himself with the blanket. "Night."

The Star Nomad was silent for a moment, but soon Hater heard the rustling of cloth.

"Good night, Hater."

* * *

Hater didn't know how long he slept for, but when he woke up it was dark, the light of the planet's two moons the only thing keeping the world from being pitch black. The forest was nearly dead silent, save for the strangest sound that seemed to be coming from behind him. It was barely noticeable, kind of low pitched, and didn't seem to follow any set sort of pattern.

"Nn… ah…"

Weird… that kind of sounded like Wander.

Out of curiosity, the skeleton turned over a bit. Wander was definitely awake, as he was sitting up, his back towards Hater. One of his hands gripped at his hat, and the other was in his lap.

Suddenly, Wander let out a whimper, followed shortly by a low, desperate kind of moan-

_Oh_.

Hater turned bright green, turning back on his side. His eyes were wide, and if he'd had a heart it would have been beating so fast that the other alien would probably have heard it.

How could Wander be doing… _that_? Clean, cute, sweet little Wander!

Was he really jerking off when Hater was no more than ten feet away from him?

"O-Ohhhh… O-Oh, gob…"

Apparently, yes. Hater gripped the blanket tightly, trying to ignore the familiar stirring in his nether regions.

_Don't think about it, don't even _think _about it! He'll hear you, moron!_

Which was very true. Hater wasn't exactly… _quiet _in terms of certain activities. It was one of the many reasons that there were so many doors leading to his bedroom; he didn't want anyone to hear him when he, ahem, took care of business.

_Just ignore it. Don't think about it, don't pay attention, don't-_

"Oh… Oh, _Hater_…"

The skeleton froze, the flush on his face deepening.

_What… What? D… Did he just- No, no, he couldn't have-!_

"A-Ah, ah, nn, _Hater_! Oh…"

Okay, yeah, there was no way that could have been anything _but_ Hater's name. The overlord swallowed hard as he felt his prick harden fully, straining against the front of his boxers.

The Star Nomad let out another needy moan, and Hater couldn't take it anymore. As unobtrusively as possible, the skeleton pulled up on his robe, grimacing at the green glowing tent in his boxers. With a muffled sigh, he pulled his boxers over his hips, freeing his aching prick. Hesitantly, he grasped it, quickly covering his mouth with his other hand as to keep himself from making too much noise. Slowly, he started to stroke himself, gritting his teeth as he settled into a sort of rhythm, clenching his teeth as he ran his thumb over the head.

"Ah… Ah, _please_…"

Hater sped up his pace, knowing that Wander was quickly approaching his end. Heat was starting to coil inside of Hater, and he had to bite down hard on his hand to keep himself from moaning and giving himself away. He was so close, so very close-

"Oh! Oh, Hater!"

Hater bit back a scream as he hit his peak, Wander's cries pushing him over the edge. He was still for a moment, not daring to move for fear of giving himself away. He heard Wander sigh, followed by the sound of cloth rustling around. Still, Hater refused to move, remaining still until he heard the Star Nomad's soft snores.

Hater let out a breath he hadn't realized that he was holding, releasing his wilted cock from his grip and pulling his boxers back up before sitting up, scooting away from the stain he'd made on the ground next to him. Once he felt he was far enough away from the spot, he laid back down, staring up at the sky.

He'd learned two things from this: one, the sounds Wander had made had turned him on like nothing ever had before.

Two, it was very possible that Wander was attracted to him.

Maybe.

Maybe he was just getting off to the thought of jerking it so close to Hater without him knowing.

Wait… that didn't actually make sense. Wander was… well, he was _Wander_! There was no way he'd get off to tricking someone!

Or… or maybe he just had some sort of weird kink? He _did _jerk off when he knew that Hater was asleep not ten feet away from him!

But… but maybe he did just like Hater. Maybe Hater sleeping so close to him had made Wander think of doing… _things_, and maybe he just couldn't help but…

Hater groaned, covering his face.

It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

Hater didn't get a wink of sleep that night. His mind wouldn't shut up; he couldn't stop thinking about what that all had _meant_. Was Wander really attracted to him? Was it possible that he actually _liked _Hater?

Wander yawned, sitting up and stretching. "G'mornin', Hater!"

"… Mornin'…" Hater mumbled as he slowly sat up as well.

Wander frowned, concerned. "Are you okay? Ya sound kinda tired."

Hater flushed, not looking at Wander. "I… I didn't sleep well, okay? The ground isn't exactly great for sleeping on!"

"Huh. Well, I slept like a rock!"

"Not the only way you were like a rock…" Hater muttered as he stood up.

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's just get out of here. I just wanna get back to my own bed at this point." Hater said briskly as he moved past the Nomad, deliberately not looking at him.

"You're sure you're alright? You're looking a little green-"

"I'm fine! Just help me get out of here so I can get some sleep!"

Wander stared at him for a moment, but eventually sighed, following Hater.

* * *

They walked in silence for about an hour after that. Sometimes, Wander would look over at Hater and smile, but Hater wouldn't ever look at him.

Wander wondered if he'd done something to upset Hater.

Maybe he was just grumpy.

Of course, none of that mattered when they were accosted by one of the many jungle beasts.

"I thought you said that you knew how to get around these things!" Hater screamed as they frantically ran through the forest.

"I thought I did! Their normal prey must have migrated or something!"

"Who cares about their normal prey! Right now, this thing's prey is _us_!"

The beast growled behind them, speeding up.

"We're never gonna outrun this thing! Hater, I'm sorry I got you into this- whoa!"

Hater didn't let him finish, instead grabbing him and throwing him up into a nearby tree. He turned around, facing the beast as he shot off a bolt of green lightning.

"Listen, jack-hole! I've been stuck on this crappy planet you and your crappy friends call home for the past day and a half! I've been dragged through mud, chased by gob-knows-what, nearly eaten by a _gob-damn plant_, and worst of all, I didn't get _any _sleep because I was too busy freaking out over the fact that I heard the person who is _supposed _to be the bane of my existence say my name over and over when he was jerking off! I am frustrated, exhausted, and kind of confused, and I do _not _need your shit today, do you hear me?! So get the fuck away from me, tell your friends to get the fuck away from me, and leave me the fuck alone, because all I wanna do is get off this fucking planet and go to bed! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

The beast managed a shaky nod, turning tail and running away, letting out terrified whines as it scampered off.

Hater sighed, letting his hands fall to his sides as he turned towards the tree he'd thrown Wander into. "Okay, I think it's safe to come… down… now…"

The skeleton trailed off as he looked up at Wander. The Star Nomad's face was completely red, his eyes wide as he stared at Hater, swallowing hard as his eyes filled with tears.

"You… you heard me?"

Hater's eyes widened. "I-I, um, I mean, well…" He swallowed hard. "Y… Yeah. Y-Yeah, I did."

The tears started to flow down Wander's cheeks. "I-I… I…" The tiny nomad started to shake as he looked down at his feet. "I'm so sorry!"

"W-Wait, I, no, you don't understand, I-!" Hater groaned, then ran over to the tree trunk, climbing up to where Wander was. The nomad shrieked, moving back on the branch.

"P-Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!"

Hater groaned in frustration, inching towards him. "Damn it, Wander, I'm not gonna hurt you! I'm trying to tell you that I-!"

Suddenly, the branch started to shake, and they both heard a cracking noise.

"Wh… What was th-!?"

Wander didn't have time to finish that statement, as Hater suddenly leapt forward, grabbing him as the branch broke and they fell to the ground, Hater holding Wander tightly as he positioned them so that he'd hit the ground first.

They laid there in silence for a moment, staring at each other.

"Wh… Why… Why did you do that?" Wander whispered after a moment, his face still red and his heart pounding in his chest.

Hater looked up at him, not saying anything as he gently grasped Wander's cheeks, feeling his face flush green.

"… Can… Can I kiss you?"

The nomad's eyes widened in shock. "Wh… What?"

"… I… I really want to kiss you right now. Is… Is that okay?"

Wander stared at him for a moment, then hesitantly nodded. Hater smiled weakly at him, then slowly leaned up, just barely enough to press their mouths together.

The kiss was gentle, slow, sweet, and yet explosive at the same time; it was everything Hater had hoped his first kiss with Wander would be. Wander pressed back slightly, gripping at Hater's cloak, still trembling a bit.

After a moment, Hater pulled away, staring up at his crush.

"Gob," he whispered. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

Wander's eyes were wide as he stared down at the conqueror. "R… Really?" He asked, his mouth curving into a grin.

"Y… Yeah. I… I like you, Wander. I really, _really _like you." He flushed, not meeting Wander's eyes. "A-And, um… about last night…"

The Star Nomad blushed again, frowning. "O-Oh, um, that… I-I, um… I kinda got a little too riled up, thinkin' about you sleeping so close to me… mind, I'd never… never do anything without your consent, but… I just…"

"It's, um… it's okay… I… I didn't mind… I, um… I-I kind of… liked it."

"… Wh… What?"

"Th-The… The sounds you made, I… I thought that they were really, um… hot."

Wander suddenly grinned mischievously. "Oh, _really_?" He asked. Before Hater could say anything, he sat up, letting out a wanton moan similar to the ones he made the previous night.

"What are you doing?"

"Makin' noise." He said, quickly followed by a "Oh, Hater!"

"… Why?"

"You said you found the noises arousing, didn't you?"

Hater stared at him, then rolled his eyes. "Dear Gob, what have I done?"

Wander laughed. "You wanna know what the worst part is?"

"What?"

"Yooooou _like_ it!"

Hater couldn't help but laugh. "You're such a dork!"

"No, you are, ya big silly!" Wander said, grinning as he leaned over, holding Hater close to him. The skeleton smiled, sitting up and wrapping his arms around the nomad.

After a moment, Wander pulled back, looking up at Hater with an unfamiliar glint in his blue eyes.

"What?"

The Star Nomad didn't say anything, instead grabbing Hater's face and slamming their mouths together. The skeleton made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, but quickly returned the kiss, turning his head and slipping his tongue past Wander's lips, relishing the little moans Wander made as they laid down.

"Mmph… Oh, Hater, _please_…"

"Please what?"

Wander looked at him again, and Hater realized what that look in Wander's eyes had been: Lust.

"O-Oh. Oh, um…" Hater looked away, sitting up slightly.

The Star Nomad frowned. "Is… Is everything okay?"

"N-No, it's fine, I just…" He swallowed hard, looking into Wander's eyes. "I've never… I've never done it before."

Wander's eyes widened. "Oh… Oh, um, well, do… do you not want to? B-Because it's fine if-"

"N-No, I… I want to, I just…" He sighed. "I want to, but I'm kinda… kinda scared that I won't be able to make it good for you, I guess…"

Wander smiled softly, sitting up and kissing Hater gently. "It's okay. Besides, we don't have to, you know," He made a rather lewd gesture to emphasize his point. "Go all the way yet. There are plenty of things we can do!"

"Like what?"

Wander grinned, hitching up the overlord's robe in front.

"What are you doing?!"

The nomad just smiled up at him, pulling the skeleton's boxers down over his hips, smirking when he saw the effects he was already having. Gently, he took Hater's half-hard cock into his hand, stroking slowly as Hater groaned, gripping at his cloak.

"Nn… W… Wander…"

Wander smiled at him once more. "Enjoying yourself?"

Hater tried to glare at him. "Wh… What do you think- ah!"

Wander didn't let him finish, instead leaning over and swiping his tongue over the head of the skeleton's prick. Hater moaned, moving a hand to the back of Wander's head.

"Jebus-!"

The nomad hummed, opening his mouth as much as he could and taking in as much of Hater's length as possible, swirling his tongue around, bobbing his head up and down, making Hater whine with pleasure, making his legs shake, making heat coil… oh, no, he was going to-!

"W… Wait! Wait, stop!" He cried, grabbing the back of Wander's head and pulling him away.

"What?! What's wrong?!"

The skeleton swallowed, flushing again. "I, um… I… that is, I was kind of… getting too close, if you know what I mean."

Wander blinked, confused. "Oh, um, okay… but… I wouldn't have minded if you finished."

"I… I know, but… I don't want to leave you in the lurch." Hater replied, gesturing to Wander's erection.

The Star Nomad blushed, rubbing the back of his head. "O-Oh, uh… um, I… W-Well, what did you have in mind-?!"

Hater quickly picked the nomad up, lying him on his back and forcing his legs open.

"Wh- Oh, no, wait, Hater, I don't-! We can't do that-!" Wander started, panicking.

Hater just smiled at him, then grabbed the wanderer's arms moved between his legs, sliding his cock against Wander's.

"Oh!" The nomad cried, his back arching.

"'M not a baby," Hater managed to say, rubbing against his partner. "And I'm not an idiot. I… know _how _to- nn- do some stuff…"

Wander moaned, his toes curling. "Nn… Ah, Hater, please!"

The conqueror groaned, shaking with need. "You're… you're driving me nuts, y'know? You always do." He mumbled, releasing Wander's arms and moving his hands to hold onto Wander's torso. The nomad latched onto Hater's cloak, tugging desperately, trying hard not to lose it.

"I… I, oh, Hater, I can't-! I'm gonna-!" Wander cried, his hips jutting forward involuntarily.

Hater let out a low moan, his hips thrusting forward once more before he finally came, crying Wander's name as release tore through him and Wander both.

They were still for a moment, panting hard and holding onto each other loosely.

"… Wow." Wander said after a moment. "Y'know, I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but it sure wasn't that."

Hater frowned. "Wait, did you not like it?"

"Oh, no, I liked it!" He grinned bashfully. "I loved it, actually! You're really something!"

The skeleton flushed, smiling sheepishly. "Th… Thanks. I… You were really great, too."

Wander smiled back, kissing him again.

* * *

"Sir! I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, but rest assured that we're-!"

"Peepers."

The eyeball froze. "S-Sir?"

"Do me a favor: Shut up. I'm completely exhausted; I just want to get some sleep."

Peepers swallowed, nodding. "I- O-Of course, sir! I'll- I'll tell the men not to disturb you."

"Good." He pointed at the hall. "Now get to it."

His commander nodded again, saluting nervously as he ran off.

Hater sighed, letting his shoulders sag. "Jebus…"

"Psst!"

Hater frowned, turning towards the entrance curiously. Wander poked his head in, grinning.

"Wander?! What are you doing here?!" Hater yelled, keeping his voice low and hushed as he ran over to him.

"I found Sylvia! We're about to leave, but I wanted to say goodbye."

Hater froze, his throat going dry. "W… You… Did you bring Sylvia- Does she _know_?!"

"Yep." The zbornak replied as she swung her own head around.

Hater swallowed nervously. "U-Uh…"

"Listen, I don't like you. I probably never will. But I trust Wander, and I trust his judgement." She narrowed her eyes, pointing two of her fingers at her eyes, then at Hater, then at her again. "I'm watching you…" She warned, backing away. "Don't take too long, Wander."

Hater sighed. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"I can think of a few things." Wander replied, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Hater rolled his eyes. "You're incorrigible."

"And you're _adorable_." Wander replied, leaning in and pecking him on the lips. "Later, Hater!" He called as he ran off.

Hater sighed, but smiled.

"Sir?"

Hater snapped his head around.

"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"


End file.
